AWKWARD AND AWESOME THURSDAY...it is Thursday, right?

My days seem to be running together, with all the stuff going on with my dad.  (for those that don't know my dad has fought valiently, but is losing his battle with Pancreatic Cancer, kind of ironic that this is pancreatic cancer awareness month)   Thanks to other awkward and awesome posts I realized that is Awkward and Awesome Thursday. 

Awkward:  Trying to help my dad to the bathroom and bathing.  He absolutely does not want me to see him naked, which I totally understand.  But for goodness sakes, I have been a registered nurse for more than 15 years, believe me, I have seen plenty of naked bodies.  I told him I would close my eyes, but he wasn't buying that for a second.   Before he started having memory issues he understood this and was ok with me helping....no longer.  Thankfully Mark is here to help in that arena.

Awkward:  Dad wants to continue chemo, but it's killing him.  How do you help him understand it's time to stop without taking away any hope he has left or his will to do anything?  Thankfully the doc took care of that by telling him he wasn't strong enough and "we'll just take it one week at a time" but none for now.

Awesome:  The amount of help and support Dad and our family is receiving from those around us, both family and friends. 

Awesome:  Tender Mercies....I was feeling really down, wondering if Heavenly Father had forgotten me.  I returned a phone call from a sister that has been having struggles of her own.  She proceded to tell me  how much my visits meant to her, and how glad she was I was her visiting teacher again because I could understand some of what she is going through. She told me how much she appreciates me and all I do.  This was just exactly what I needed at that moment.  Confirmation that my Heavenly Father does know me, and cares for me, and he knew just exactly what I needed at that moment.  I have learned that Thank yous mean so much.  Even a small thank you can make someones day. 

Awesome:  The sunshine we  have been blessed with, always nice to have bonus sunny days in the fall. 

The difference between learning something and understanding it

There is a big difference between learning something and understanding it.  As a nurse I have learned the 5 stages of death and dying (Elizabeth Kubler Ross).  They are denial, anger, bargaining, grief and acceptance.  People go through them at different rates and sometimes in a different order.  Some stages take longer than others for people, and sometimes people will get stuck in a stage like anger or denial, but from what I have seen everyone goes through them. 

This is a concept I have worked with for many years, because I learned about it and I had seen it in other people.  As a daughter I now understand it.  I could read all about it, and see it in others, but until I experienced it I didn't really understand how it felt. Now that I have felt it I believe it will enable me to be much more compassionate with those that find themselves dealing with it.  Eveyone is different, so I would never say I understand exactly how someone feels, but I do know some of what they are feeling. 

A lot of things in life are like that, we are taught by our parents and teachers a lot of things. We learn about kindess and charity, about praying and reading the scriptures, about keeping the commandments.  But until we practice them, really experience them, we don't understand them.  A brief trial of them isn't going to bring the understanding that living and experiencing them will.

I believe we were sent to this earth to have experiences and learn and grow, some of the experiences are more painful than others, but all of them beneficial in some way, if we look for what we are supposed to learn from it.  Quite often what we learn is how to help someone else deal with the same thing at some point in the future, or to help us know how to help and what to do, or when there is nothing you can do but be there and listen. 

I am very grateful that I have had people willing to sit by and listen during the past couple months.  Not one of them said...."This again, really, haven't you dealt with this yet?  because I am getting tired of hearing it"  They all just patiently listened.  Listening is a highly underated skill.  I think it should have been one of the commandments  "Thou shalt listen to each other"  because when we listen to others we learn how to live the other commandments, how to love one another, and strengthen each other.  We learn what others need and how we can help.  Listening can be very empowering if you are good at it. 

So I would like to say Thank you, to all that  are good listeners, you make things easier.